It's been so long since I've written. I had to make a new blog since the meds I take changed the way I write so much that to me it looks like a completely different person. I liked my old style of writing a lot more. It reflected how I felt inside, and it seemed more poetic. This is more the thoughts, the words, the way that you form the sentences inside your head. My old blog was just my raw feelings. But this is how I used to write before anxiety took over my life. I don't know exactly what kind of blog this is going to be, but I need an outlet. Things have felt out of control lately, and I'm desperately trying to get that control back.
First off, I'd like to say that I don't have an eating disorder, I have an anxiety disorder. Controlling my food is an outlet. It's the best way that I've found to feel like I have control over my life. I know that hitting my goal weight won't magically make my anxiety disappear. But the journey to my goal weight, and hopefully one day maintaining my goal weight is a way to manage the anxiety. It keeps it in check. And blogging is like seeing a therapist. After all I'm much more honest on here than I ever would be in some shrink's office.
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